Did I Really Say That?

As I was writing a comment on Bonnie Erickson's Real Estate Snippets blog out of Minneapolis it reminded me of some of the things that have shot out of my mouth before I could help myself (and quickly grab them back!). So I'm posting a few of those that come to mind from recent real estate situations here in Chicago. Again, these are words actually spoken aloud within earshot of another 'party'. (I can't print most of what I didnt say.)

I must make one small disclaimer, though: These are all responses to another 'party's' very lame question or statement and usually after the editing chip in my mind finally fried and gave the old tongue the go signal. To be sure, all of my blurbs were quickly followed by a smile, chuckle or in a few instances, a merciful look of regret. (see my picture on chicagohomeestates.com... that look)

On a Listing Appointment

POTENTIAL CLIENT: But Mr___ ___ next door just paid $___ for a house just like mine.

AGENT (ME): Unfortunately, Mr___ ____,already has a house just like yours. I don't believe he's in the market for another.


On A Showing a Week Later of the Above Mentioned Property

BUYERS AGENT: The house next door only sold for $___ a few months ago, why are you so high?

LISTING AGENT (ME): Great. Go knock on his door and see if he'll sell for that price now.


To Assorted Listing Agents Asking Me For Feedback...Repeatedly

ME: My client? My client was underwhelmed. (response to a top producer's over bubbly assistant)

* * *

ME: What does my client think of the property? Did I fax you an offer? I didn't. Hmmm...I guess that's what he thinks of the property. (this agent called me 3 times in one hour)

* * *

ME: For crissakes Myrna (real name), my client didn't even act like he liked it.


To My Teenage Dogwalker Who's Thinking of Becoming An Investor

ME: Think about it, Avi (real name)...you can't even buy a really good car for 80 grand. (my wife said I was being mean...but I wasn't)

To a New Listing Before A First Open House

ME: Do I look like I bake cookies? If I'm serving anything it would be liquor. (and I don't even drink.)

To An Open House Visitor Who Was Being Negative

VISITOR: What kind of people live around here?

ME: What kind of people live around here? (I sometimes repeat the lame question they ask so they can hear how lame it really is) ...People who can afford a home that costs a
Million Five Fifty.

VISITOR: A Million? Really?

ME: A Million Five Fifty.

VISITOR: A Million Five. Really?

ME: No. Not really. A Million Five Fifty!

I should probably post a second disclaimer stating all of the above took place in a much more robust market. My next posting in this series will focus on the best of my own begging.

image by loosetooth.com