Sunday, October 19, 2014

New Listing Photo Shoot Hint #2

That Funky-Ass Kitchen ---

Underwear in Dishwasher (funny)

I've shown 10,000+ Chicago apartments, condos, and houses over the past 15 years; upper-bracket luxury, REO deplorable, and everything in between. Without a doubt, the kitchen is the first spot everyone gravitates to. Funny how buyers are reluctant to peek into the master bedroom closet but won't think twice about yanking the fridge and dishwasher doors open to take a peek inside.  Even in the nastiest hovel. They can't help themselves.

So here are a few tips for you man cavers (most other sellers already know this) about getting your kitchen photo-ready and show-able to the non-man-cave public.

1) Empty the dirty dishes from the sink and scour the counter tops. Duh.

2) "Stage" the inside of your refrigerator: ditch the half-empty take-out boxes and back-wash juice containers. Re-arrange the few things (beer and hot sauce selection) that remain.

3) Defrost the freezer and neatly stack all your frozen pizzas, 99 cent burritos, and microwave dinners. Toss all the half-used corn and mixed vegetable bags and re-locate your ganja stash to a less conspicuous place. (Hint--not in that carved wooden Welcome to Jamaica "jewelry" box on the living room coffee table, either. In fact, ditch the coffee table too, while you're at it.)

4) Open each kitchen cabinet and---well, figure it out.

5) Organize your spoon, knife, fork, plate, and collection of Chicago Bears Big Gulp containers. Toss all previously used red Solo Cups.

6) Put the litter box (we know, you're really a 'dog' person--your ex stuck you with the cat after your last lame Valentine's Day gift) behind the sofa or something.

7) Empty the damn trash.

And finally, as previously advised in my last post, The Can, keep it this way until you get an offer and the home inspection is complete.