Friday, November 06, 2009

Coach Baggage

So I'm sitting in Coach (the part of the airplane, not the store) licking my downgraded wounds. I've been shunned from First Class, my Amex Rewards Points depleted to salted peanuts and weak tea for the remainder of the traveling year. The 6:25 am Departure sits on the tarmac in Philly. The talky dude next to me speaks he always does.

"Live in Chicago?" Him.

"Yes," say I.

"Me too," Him. "...Naperville," he adds.

"Nice." Me.

Awkward middle seat silence generally ensues. Note to self: Charge More on the Gold Card Next Year!

"Which suburb do you live in?" He presses...And so it goes.

The following is a good example of how the remainder of the urban myth verbally plays out. If you actually live within the city limits of Chicago and you travel often, you know what I'm talking about:

* If you're seated in Coach and someone says they're from Chicago this really means they're probably from DuPage County. Not a bad thing. I'm just saying.

* If the dude says he's from the Northside, this generally means Norwood Park or maybe even Lincolnwood. At least we're in the proper county now. (That would be Cook)

* If the twenty-something girl with the Diet Coke in the middle seat happens to mention that she lives in the Gold Coast, rest assured it's a Rental Property of some sort and she's not sweating the Property Tax bill this semi-annual go round. Her boyfriend might be but she's not. (Or, vice-versa, I suppose.)

* If the lass says she lives on Astor, bet the farm it's not in one of the 10 million dollar mansions in the 1200 block....

....because...if she lived in one of the ten million dollar mansions on Astor, in the 1200 block...she wouldn't be sitting next to you in Coach to begin with...nor would she be telling you where she lives at all. People on Astor just don't share these things with strangers on the tarmac. Not at 6:25 am. And certainly not in Philly. They're just not that talky.

Just saying...

Geno Petro

follow me on twitter@genopetro

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